SANFORD MAY NEED TO PULL A JIMMY SWAGGART

Some GOP folks love the idea of Dick Cheney running for President in 2012, according to the Huffington post. Hey he definitely fits a Republican candidate's profile at least since Ronald Reagan in 1980. Cheney''s had less than six heart attacks AND he's under the age of 90. There's also former Reagan Secretary of State Alexander Haig who after Reagan was shot in March of 1981 told reporters "i am in control here. This of course while overlooking that the Constitution called for VP George Bush to temporarily take over as POTUS. Perhaps thats just ancient history and Haig is truly ready NOW. Alright, he may be a bit rusty as far as the Beltway goes, but look, at least he's only 85.

Elliot Spitzer, according to the NY Post may be eyeing a run at something in 2012. The state Senate seat occupied by appointed Senator Kirtsen Gillebrand could be that something. Spitzer has reinvented himself to some degree, by not only stepping down, but by offering analysis and opinions on news channels, even writing pieces for publications such as Slate Magazine. A sound economic reputation will also help the guy who cheated on his wife with a hot prostitute. Which is none of our business but hey this is not the JFK 60's, where trysts could be known by the media yet not written about in order to protect a public figure's reputation. Not anymore people! Decency is over. Class? Ha! Respect? Please!! We got cell phone camera pics, twitter feeds, facebook posts, and pictures galore at sites such as lastnightsparty.com. Privacy? Forget it. If you are doing something BAD, we'll know about before you're even finished doing it.

Which brings us to South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford who has, as of late thwarted the attempts to pressure him into resigning for banging an Argentinian reporter behind his Wife's back. AP reports that half of SC wants him to resign according to a new poll. The similarity between Spitzer's mistake and Sanford's is that both cheated on their wives while in office. The difference is that Spitzer stepped down. Sanford on the other hand tries to fight through the mess while still in office.

Sanford might want to as CBS sports anchor legend Warner Wolf likes to say "go to the video tape" and look back at other embattled players who also chose to weather the storm by going public, in order to win over more support. The famous "Checkers" speech that Ike forced Nixon to give in 1952, freed Tricky Dick from the threat of being taken off the GOP ticket over alleged "improprieties relating to a fund established by his backers to reimburse him for his political expenses. (Wikipedia)" Nixon then won over sympathy by going over his salary and personal expense report on TV before saying that the only gift he received was his dog Checkers and by golly he was gonna keep it. Who could argue with the intentions of a dog lover like Nixon (his next dog famously hated him in the White House years later)?

In 1988 Jimmy Swaggart the Televangelist pioneer was known to have hooked up with a New Orleans prostitute (though she says they never had sex. Poor Swaggart. No sex. ever. Yea THAT'S normal) , went in front of his TV audience and broke down hysterically crying saying "I have sinned against you, my Lord, and I would ask that your precious blood would wash and cleanse every stain until it is in the seas of God's forgiveness." Swaggart got a 3 month suspension. Had he not been caught with another hooker in 1991 again, Swaggart would have regained his reputation to a large degree. OK OK not the perfect template but wait, what about Slick Willie Clinton's "I did not have sexual relations with that woman?" Clinton REDEFINED what sex was. Considering the charges of impeachment facing him at the time, one has to agree that this reinterpretation under such pressure, was one of his greatest achievments in eight years.

The point is, its 2009. Everything and anything is fair game. People love to watch the big dogs fall only to listen to them beg on their knees before propping them up again. Sanford just has to play into this a little bit. Now the same doesn't seem to go for to Spitzer at this point ( polls show him ahead of Gillebrand right now) but for the guy who was really only saved by the insane Micheal Jackson coverage, it may be time for a big Cryingpallooza on TV. Just for Sanford to insure himself that this Summer ends with a bang. No, not the kind of bang he found in Buenos Aires. Rather, the kind of bang that denotes keeping a job that may otherwise be in serious jeopardy as we head into the Fall.

JENNA BUSH HAGER AS DEAN MARTIN

The President is back in DC from the Vineyard and as mentioned in the previous post better have grown some facial hair during his summer break. No more Mr Nice guy please Barry, OK? It starts with the Senate. Those knuckleheads need guidance but first, a smack down. A WWF smackdown. Dive off the top ropes, clothesline the "Death Panel" liars. Pick up a chair and crack the Blue Dog filibusterers over the head. Swing the Far Righties who hide in the corner waiting for 2010 to be over, off of the ropes then run into them with a flying elbow. It's time for Barry the Badass to start kicking ass. The congenial approach needs a vacation now.

That bastion of truth the NY Post, reports that Jenna Bush Hager will work as a part time correspondent on the Today show, reporting on Education. She's a teacher in the Baltimore area. Remember her wild days of trying to out run her Secret Service protection while heading to the bars in DC. Who could blame her for those days? Not us. We'd do the same thing if we were in her shoes, with access to black limos and VIP treatment at the clubs. Sounds like fun actually. Like a video game made for Wii. Drink and Ditch. Run fast and make your getaway car race down Pennsylvania ave. If she IS still partying hard, which we'll assume she's not, the recently married offspring of W could turn the Today segment into an old Dean Martin show type episode. Stand wobbly while holding a highball glass in one hand and a cigarette in the other then then tell a story with a laugh track in the background.

Dick Cheney thinks it's a good idea to re open the conversation on Waterboarding altogether. Um, we don't. In fact, it's the worst idea i've heard of this weekend. It's such a bad line of thinking considering all that is on Obama's plate right now, that if this is a window into the pragmatism of Dick Cheney well then, there's not even a need to read his or W's biography's that will hit the shelves in the coming years. Wait a second, W's may be worth getting. I hear they'll have interactive pop up castles and buttons to press that will make various cartoon and sitcom theme song sounds. Maybe even fart noises.

Mr Kadaffi is not welcome in NJ now, according to Senator but not for long Senator John Corzine. The feelings mutual with Kadaffi who had to be saying to himself "NJ? What the ##%K?!! Hey, what the hell made it ok in the first place ? Even though the former public enemy #1 of the US has since reconciled and even terminated Libya's nuclear program, the damage has been done, no?
Pan Am Flight 103 that killled 270 over Lockerbie, Scotland in 1988 left a permanent mark on the Libyan President here. Regardless of the fact that he looks like he could be in the next rock n roll band that Jack White puts together.

As Jim Morrison once said "Summer's almost gone." He's right again. Gotta live it up while we can beach goers. All those people who can't wait for the Fall and September, better be the ones tough enough to walk around when it's twenty out in December. In other words shut up and don't rush things. You can all wear your Million dollar 70's cop show leather jacket re makes soon enough Soho residents. Patience.

OBAMA LOST IN THE TREES ON THE GOLF COURSE AND STUCK IN THE FOREST OF PARTISAN POLITICS

Let's not mistake the President for Tiger Woods ok? The guy is hooking balls left and right on the Martha's vineyard links where he'll spend the week. It's pretty symbolic seeing a picture of him on the course today stuck under a tree figuring out his next move. He's lost in a forest of trees, old oak trees in Washington, where he's left the health care battle to partisan positioning and
gamesmanship. While the Death panel jargon has died down, player son both sides have hit the trails to win the war of public opinion on Obama care. For the Republicans, out strolled John McCain to tell us that 1 trillion dollars of more debt on our children is not what we need. Of course he and the rest of the GOP can find nothing but futrue debt and death panels to help them stiff arm an obama plan that is still unclear but aims to reduce the rising costs that will continue to hurt employment numbers. This coming from the guy who told us the economy was strong while we all contemplated selling our bodies for rent money last Winter. Keep golfing Barry, no rush back. Truth is, Obama is going top have to risk political capital in one of two ways. By backing up and putting health care off, which will make him appear weak. Or he can flip naysayers the bird, trust his instinct, ask for a reformed version of the millin page plan, sign it, and let the chips fall where they may. I'd rather go out swinging than backpeddling personally.

Attorney General Eric Holder is appointing a special prosecutor to go after Bush era torturers? Who can blame Dick" Darth Vader "Cheney for saying that this proves Obama's mindset puts us all at risk? It's a shrewd politcial ploy by a guy who already got his special assistant Lewis "Scooter 'Libby branded "Asswipe" for life, by being unable to get out in front of the pardon that George W told Cheney to forget about. And you were wondering why Cheney wheelchaired exit stage left away from Bush on inauguration day. The former VP's flipping the script on the torture methods and turning the focus instead to the idea of a soft conciliatory President is a nice measuring stick to the temperature of the status quo. Are the angry mob the majority or just a brilliant Trick Dick Nixon disruption trick rehashed in a new form? Either way, the need to look back and not forwards is a lay up for Republican strategists who will surely call this move a "deflection" by Obama to keep us from noticing that Obamacare is going down the toilet faster than vomit from a late night bender.

Fidel Castro (above) has even chimed in, with his Cuban baseball team warmup suit on, saying its the racist right wing attacking Obama. This could be true. Whats also true is that the right wing nuts Castro talks about are doing cartwheels over the notion that it's Castro, not Americans who understand where his policies are coming from. Socialism, communism, dictatorship. There. now you don't have to watch Sean Hannity tonight folks. I just summed it up for you in the speed of a coffee rush. And hey Fidel, go stretch out and throw a bullpen. You may get to live out your dream at last. The Mets need two starters. Hurry up, get loose.

It Was a Dark and Stormy Eight Years

The Wash Post is holding a contest where it is asking people to write the first paragraph in Dick Cheney's upcoming memoir.  the best entries get published... we arent going to do it for anything less than a bottle of jameson. enter here.