WHAT OBAMA SHOULD TELL THE SCHOOLCHILDREN

The notion that President Obama is preparing to address schoolchidlren with a televised speech Tuesday to kick off the new school year has many GOP leaning parents up in arms. Charges of brainwashing and recruiting for 2012 by the righties with the kiddies,  have been splashed across various news stations. George Bush Sr had the same idea in 1991 in an address to kids to which then Democratic house majority leader Dick Gephardt responded by calling the address "paid political advertising."  Today the complaints are the same, but it's the sides that have changed.

More importantly, folks ought to focus on the message. What Obama SHOULD say. Here's a suggestion for Barry:

 "Now look, (Obama loves to use the word "look") I'm not here to recite the Canterbury Tales in Middle English like I do during night time addresses for your parents. I AM here to tell you that your parents who act like economists on par with Nouriel Roubini and Pual Krugman, in their forecasts of your impending doom if we pass health care, are the same ones who bought houses they couldn't afford and helped lead us into the shit storm we are in right now. Look, your parents are the same folks who go to Town Hall meetings and claim that MY administration is ruining the Constitution while THEY voted twice for the guy who tapped their phones  just to hear about where Mommy and Daddy's unlicensed gun collection was being stored. They voted twice for the guy  guy who said "Mission Accomplished" before the mission even started. Before the 900 Billion dollar bill ever accumulated in Iraq. Now look, I'm not coming down on the Bushies kids, I'm just making a point. If your parents were experts, they wouldn't have helped put us in this position by backing the guy who lead us here on his watch. Now get out your #2 pencils and take down this website address. It's www.barackobama2012.com. We accept piggy bank collections provided that you can get yourselves to your local Fed Ex shipping office before 5pm on schooldays. AFTER, of course you finish your homework."

Between the Tea Parties, the Town Hall meetings with the "Death Panel" charges and now the School Speech Affair, it's apparent that the only strategy for the GOP and it's followers is to kick and scream and cry like diapered babies over everything the President says or does. Hey it's understandable. After all, we're talking about a Socialist Hitler who wasn't born in the U.S, and takes his primary viewpoints in life from 60's radical Bill Ayers and the Prejudice Reverend Wright. 

At some point during the next three years however, regardless of Obama's obvious Nazi leanings, Republicans might want to figure out what it is that they actually stand FOR.  For now at least, it's clear that the "Summer of Whining" will roll out of August and into September. This because the GOP is living off of the hopes that Obama's 47 percent approval rating on the Health Care issue is only a window into the potential for a complete fall from his one time untouchable status,  if the strategy of "complaining" continues. With no true candidate to lead them out of the wilderness right now, and no solid party  platform to currently get behind , who could blame them?

SHOCK AND AWESOME : THE PENTAGON PAPERS

Today on Shock and Awesome the fellas escaped Boston and the Ted Kennedy while wondering why Dick Cheney didn't show up for the funeral and if former Red Sawx pitcher Curt Schilling can seriously win his Senate seat? Obamacare. Yawn. Bored of that story.

Summer's out, school's in. Of course at least it's not 1789. What did Thomas Jefferson do without White out while writing the Constitution. That's alot of pressure. The duo's analysis on the matter is the first of it's kind.

Judith Airlick, Producer of the forthcoming documentary "The Most Dangerous Man In America," Daniel Ellsberg and the Pentagon Papers, joined the show today to give listeners a preview into the  new footage and Nixon phone tapes that will help reshape one of the biggest stories regarding war, secrecy, and the widening gap between people and government this country may have ever seen.  President Obama will soon have to decide whether or not to let investigation and prosecution on Bush era CIA torturers proceed. Who were the whistle blowers whose conscious made them tell the people the truth? Daniel Ellsberg (above)  was THAT guy in 1971. He felt Richard Nixon's wrath following the paper's release to the NY Times. The film opens Wed Sept 16 at the NY Film Forum. See Film info.

SHOCK AND AWESOME TRIES TO EXIT BOSTON FINALLY

The Ted Kennedy story still lingers. Mike Huckabee said he wouldve died earlier under Obama care. Dick "don't call me Richard" Cheney didn't even show up for the funeral. What a Richard.  TJ has a story for Boston fans about former Red Sox star Dennis "Oil Can" Boyd as the duo wraps up their coverage of the  Kennedy compound for the Summer.

The boys will compare and contrast naughty boys Mark Sanford and Elliot Spitzer as part of their first assignment of the school year, while talking about the brush fires that may sweep Gally Vor Nee a and their Governor into the Ocean.

CURT SCHILLING TO FILL TED KENNEDY'S SEAT?

The average CEO pay of bailed out banks was 430 times larger than for typical workers who helped bail them out. how is that fair? It's not. Just something to chew on folks while you get ready to make your latest excuse as to why September's rent is late, just like August's was.

Here's a prediction.The only band to go platinum this year will be the Beatles, after Beatles rock band comes out next week. A hall of fame catalog of great songs mashed up with viral technology like video games. Wow. it's over. If Ashley Dupree , Elliot Spitzer's hooke,r can sell her song for a dollar on My Space and make a million bucks as she did when news of her relations with Spitzer first broke, imagine what the Beatles will do when news hits that album's once had complete sides of great material? Just the thought of the Twitter generation's reaction is scary. So is the notion that modern day rock stars, DJ's, are probably armed and ready to re mix songs like Yellow Submarine so that they blend right into Dance club sets alongside Lady Ga Ga and Kate Perry.

Barack Obama plans more hands on leadership with health care including writing elements next week after Summer recess ends. Great, because the President's imitation of Muhammad Ali's famous 1974 Rope A Dope (Ali lying on the ropes not fightnig back ,pretending to be just hanging on for dear life, as opponent George Foreman exhausted himself.) moves may not tire out an opposition that is gaining numbers if the polls are any indication. Obamacare is now at 47 percent approval rating. It's time to start biting ears Barry, like Mike Tyson did against Evander Holyfield in 1997, C'mon the bell is ringing Barry, it's round two now. Switch up the approach.

ABC's anchor Charles Gibson will be retiring after a 34 year stint there. The biggest news he may have uncovered in his entire career was that Sarah Palin could see Russia from her own backyard. Congrats on a long run, Charles. Diane Sawyer takes over as the "World News" anchor in January.

How bout this one: The Huffington Post writes: 

"Sam Donaldson and Liz Cheney spiritedly debated the decision by Attorney General Eric Holder to investigate whether or not torture occurred during CIA interrogations of terrorist suspects. Cheney took the position that this matter had already been investigated, with the conclusion being no illegal activity had taken place.Donaldson countered that the investigations had been undertaken by the Bush Justice Department, an agency that became notoriously political during Bush's administration, and that a fresh investigation is needed."

Liz, shush. Your Dad did some secretive shit. Did he not? Now it shouldn't be brought up in this current climate by AG Eric Holder. That's because it's truly not the time or the place to look back. At all. It does nobody good. The country, Obama. Nobody. I'll give you that. But don't tell us that the matter has already been investigated ok? We're not drooling morons. Well ,WE are, but not the rest of the country. Who are you gonna tell us investigated this already Liz, George W's ventriliquist puppet Alberto Gonzalez? 

With all of the negative attention he's been receiving, Governor Mark Sanford of South Carolina said today "now I know how Sarah Palin feels." Mark, it's different. Sarah's family got hit out of bounds by the media during a tough Presidential campaign where amny sought to discredit her and the McCain Palin ticket politically. YOU were playing Twister butt naked, doused in baby oil with a "friend" in Argentina. Again, we don't condone the media digging into the personal lives of Politicians but we already told you what to do. Get on TV and cry hysterically. Apologize. Be vulnerable. PEOPLE DON'T FEEL SORRY FOR YOU MARK. South Carolina residents want you out. If you want empathy don't try and link to Palin's plight, who despite a person's feelings bout her politicially deserved empathy for the endless attacks regarding family matters. If you want empathy you gotta go Jimmy Swaggart style. Ball uncontrollably in Primetime. Forgive me Lord for I have sinned!! Plain and simple. Otherwise shut up and do your job and don't bring the matter up at all.

The recently freed North Korean journalists "tried with all of their might" to not be dragged onto North Korean soil where they could be considered as intruders and open to prison time. They were embarking on a documentary on the female trafficking of North Korean women as sex slaves to China.  They feel that  perhaps they were set up by their tour guide. Hey we get it don't worry.We often gt and set up and then try "with all of our might,' not to be dragged into dumb Lower East bars, where party escapades increase heavily in odds once you cross Southbound on Houston and Essex . The next time when we get caught in some idiots apartment when the sun ain't shining, WE should call Bill Clinton to rescue us. It's hard to escape those places sometimes. We'll be thankful for the help from the Ex Prez. Dreary shit hole party pads start to feel like Downtown gulags as the hours pass, and the ability to leave lessens by the minute.

Former Red Sox star pitcher Curt Schilling filling Ted Kennedy's Senate seat is the rumour of the day. Big shoes to fill we must say, even for the guy with the bloody sock. Hey but wait,Ted was a die hard Red Sox fan. As for any historical precedence, Jim Bunning, the long time Senator of Kentucky, did once throw a perfect game for the Phillies in 1964. In other words it's not inconceivable for a Major league pitcher to make it to the Congress, because it's been done. The real problem is, Schilling never threw a perfect game .OR even a no hitter. He came within one out a few years back but it got broken up by Shannon Stewart. Shannon Stewart? Exactly. You can't be one out away and let a guy with two first names ruin it. Proper credentials ought to be a big part of the conversation when filling the shoes of the Lion of the Senate. Just something to consider.

SUMMER OF WAKES

Having already lived through Michael Jackson’s death this summer I found it very difficult to expend anymore days watching Edward Kennedy’s burial play out on national television. He was a great legislator that served as a bookend of history, and he did deserve the gracious send off if for nothing else being the only Kennedy brother the country got to see grow old. Still, I could not bring myself to sit down and watch the two-day event for the simple fact that I thought privacy should have been extended to the Kennedy family after the point that Senator Kennedy’s body left his brother’s presidential library. Very personal speeches given from family members and close friends are not built for national television and broadcasting them often trivializes the true emotion, pain, and grief that the speakers are experiencing. Case and point is the speech Brooke Shields gave at the Staples Center for Michael Jackson. I cringe at the thought of pundits evaluating and critiquing these very personal accounts in real time. I can’t imagine what is going to happen when we lose a sports icon the size of Michael Jordan. ESPN will probably run a 48 hour live feed with Marv Albert and Mike Tirico giving color commentary while Hubie Brown and Jeff Van Gundy use their Wacom pens to draw X’s and O’s as well as pick and roll graphics on top of the procession.

In studying the shots of the packed church in Boston for Edward Kennedy I was more surprised with who skipped the event than with the caliber of those who attended. Notably absent from the gallery that included most of the powerful members of congress, most of the sitting cabinet, the CIA director, 3 former presidents and the current one, was Dick Cheney. To me, that proves just what a partisan hack Mr. Cheney is. George W. Bush came to pay his respects. John McCain, who arguably has the sourest taste of partisan politics in his mouth, was present. Dan Quayle made it out from whatever potato he lives under these days. President George H. W. Bush did not attend because of his health, but sent along a note with Mr. Quayle. Where was Mr. Cheney? Simple, he was on Fox claiming that Attorney General Eric Holder’s probe into the CIA’s Inspector General’s report is completely political.

I find it interesting that the man who was part of the administration that politicized the Justice Department more than any administration in our nations history is out throwing stones on the issue. Just maybe the justice department during the Bush administration over looked facts in the CIA torture cases because it was politicized in the opposite direction. Until we have a Justice Department and Inspector Generals who are independent from the White House we will never know truly where their allegiances lie. I do know one thing for sure however, and that is that the top brass structured the torture regimen outlined in the IG report and it is the latest in a series of examples where the federal government has taken the war on terror too far.
If in protecting the country from “terror” we destroy the very fabric it is made of, is the war worth it?

The Bush and Obama administrations have presented the country with a false choice between security and civil rights. There are technologies out there like those made by Alex Karp of Palantir Technologies that allow us to mine date, monitor terrorists, and protect civil liberties all at the same time. Oh, and Palantir can uncover patterns that terrorists don’t even know that they are leaving. Therefore we can continue to thwart their plans even after they change their habits after watching others fail, and the best part is that all intelligence gathered by Palantir happens on the front end so that in the future we will be able to prevent the types of 9-11 attacks on our country that Dick Cheney allowed.

SANFORD MAY NEED TO PULL A JIMMY SWAGGART

Some GOP folks love the idea of Dick Cheney running for President in 2012, according to the Huffington post. Hey he definitely fits a Republican candidate's profile at least since Ronald Reagan in 1980. Cheney''s had less than six heart attacks AND he's under the age of 90. There's also former Reagan Secretary of State Alexander Haig who after Reagan was shot in March of 1981 told reporters "i am in control here. This of course while overlooking that the Constitution called for VP George Bush to temporarily take over as POTUS. Perhaps thats just ancient history and Haig is truly ready NOW. Alright, he may be a bit rusty as far as the Beltway goes, but look, at least he's only 85.

Elliot Spitzer, according to the NY Post may be eyeing a run at something in 2012. The state Senate seat occupied by appointed Senator Kirtsen Gillebrand could be that something. Spitzer has reinvented himself to some degree, by not only stepping down, but by offering analysis and opinions on news channels, even writing pieces for publications such as Slate Magazine. A sound economic reputation will also help the guy who cheated on his wife with a hot prostitute. Which is none of our business but hey this is not the JFK 60's, where trysts could be known by the media yet not written about in order to protect a public figure's reputation. Not anymore people! Decency is over. Class? Ha! Respect? Please!! We got cell phone camera pics, twitter feeds, facebook posts, and pictures galore at sites such as lastnightsparty.com. Privacy? Forget it. If you are doing something BAD, we'll know about before you're even finished doing it.

Which brings us to South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford who has, as of late thwarted the attempts to pressure him into resigning for banging an Argentinian reporter behind his Wife's back. AP reports that half of SC wants him to resign according to a new poll. The similarity between Spitzer's mistake and Sanford's is that both cheated on their wives while in office. The difference is that Spitzer stepped down. Sanford on the other hand tries to fight through the mess while still in office.

Sanford might want to as CBS sports anchor legend Warner Wolf likes to say "go to the video tape" and look back at other embattled players who also chose to weather the storm by going public, in order to win over more support. The famous "Checkers" speech that Ike forced Nixon to give in 1952, freed Tricky Dick from the threat of being taken off the GOP ticket over alleged "improprieties relating to a fund established by his backers to reimburse him for his political expenses. (Wikipedia)" Nixon then won over sympathy by going over his salary and personal expense report on TV before saying that the only gift he received was his dog Checkers and by golly he was gonna keep it. Who could argue with the intentions of a dog lover like Nixon (his next dog famously hated him in the White House years later)?

In 1988 Jimmy Swaggart the Televangelist pioneer was known to have hooked up with a New Orleans prostitute (though she says they never had sex. Poor Swaggart. No sex. ever. Yea THAT'S normal) , went in front of his TV audience and broke down hysterically crying saying "I have sinned against you, my Lord, and I would ask that your precious blood would wash and cleanse every stain until it is in the seas of God's forgiveness." Swaggart got a 3 month suspension. Had he not been caught with another hooker in 1991 again, Swaggart would have regained his reputation to a large degree. OK OK not the perfect template but wait, what about Slick Willie Clinton's "I did not have sexual relations with that woman?" Clinton REDEFINED what sex was. Considering the charges of impeachment facing him at the time, one has to agree that this reinterpretation under such pressure, was one of his greatest achievments in eight years.

The point is, its 2009. Everything and anything is fair game. People love to watch the big dogs fall only to listen to them beg on their knees before propping them up again. Sanford just has to play into this a little bit. Now the same doesn't seem to go for to Spitzer at this point ( polls show him ahead of Gillebrand right now) but for the guy who was really only saved by the insane Micheal Jackson coverage, it may be time for a big Cryingpallooza on TV. Just for Sanford to insure himself that this Summer ends with a bang. No, not the kind of bang he found in Buenos Aires. Rather, the kind of bang that denotes keeping a job that may otherwise be in serious jeopardy as we head into the Fall.

MIKE HUCKABEE SHOULD FORGET TV AND JUST START A BAND

The brush fires in California are out of control. 10,000 people ordered out their homes. Scary. We need water bombs dropped from Air Force planes. Forget Afghanistan for now and besides, that war needs a policy review anyway. How bout a quick break and a new idea. The domestic use of military arsenal.

There's a creepy You Tube video going around that shows Michael Jackson or someone that appears to be him walking out of the coroners ambulance alive! Is this a real life Eddie and the Cruisers story? Was it all staged? What would Larry King do when he hears of this? Oh no, good god, not more CNN exclusive's of King playing capture the flag with Marlon Brando's kid at Neverland ranch. Please. Let's hope this truly is a farce. Rumours spread like California wildfire these days. Whoever did it will have to explain.

What about the guy who kidnapped the 11 year old girl 18 years ago then had two kids with her? Kind of amazing given modern technology, that neighbors didn't realize those tents in the guys backyard weren't worth inquiring about. No cell phone pictures? No curiosity? Bone fragments have now been found there. Expect this wacko to be charged with unsolved murders soon too. Model citizen.

One quick sports note. The Yankees are treating pitcher young "prodigy" Joba Chamberlain like a pitcher on the Staten Island little league team. The Yankee pitcher's 150 inning season limit put on him by team officials is up soon. Last month the team decided to stretch him out in between starts to every 8-9 days. Now he's back to every fifth day but can only pitch three innings No wonder why the retired stars like hall of famer Jim Rice come down on modern day ball players who get paid more in one game than they did for the whole season. Big money makes teams hesitant to let players go all out for fear of an injury ruining a long term investment. Players are afraid to risk injury which in turn would risk giant contracts. Where have you gone Joe Dimaggio?

Mike Huckabee has taken a brief time out from playing bass guitar on the Mike Huckabee show to enlighten us with the fact that Ted Kennedy would have been urged to die earlier under Obamacare. Mike, look, everyone is allowed an opinion.
However, to make a point about Obama care by politicizing the late Senator's passing, is as bizarre as watching you play the Who's John Entwhistle in your makeshift cover band at the tail end of your show. You got good hands though Mike. Maybe you should start a band. Get a hottie on lead vocal. Record labels love that stuff. How bout Sarah Palin? Throw Joe the Plumber on drums and Ted Nugent on lead guitar. Call yourselves Sarah Barracuda and the Meateaters.
You have a platinum selling fan base already. Just a thought while we're on the topic of pulling thoughts out from the depths of our assholes.